![]() ![]() I wake as the second girl crawls head first up my throat, a flower, blossoming out of the hole in my face. We leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. The nail technician pushed my cuticles back… turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says, “I see your daughters and their daughters.” That night in a dream, the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. You are terrifying… and strange and beautiful. You gotta call Him ‘cause you ain’t got another hope. When your back gets against the wall and your wall against your back, who you call? Hey! Who you call? Who you call? You gotta call Him. I just love the Lord, I’m sorry, brother. So many young women, they tell you, “I want me a hu - see, all them make me feel better than you.” So how we supposed to lead our children to the future? What do we do? How do we lead them? Love. Do you remember being born? Are you thankful for the hips that cracked? The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken. You are the love of my life.īaptize me… now that reconciliation is possible. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home. He bathes me until I forget their names and faces. Did he bend your reflection? Did he make you forget your own name? Did he convince you he was a god? Did you get on your knees daily? Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head?Īm I talking about your husband or your father? Let me make up for the years he made you wait. Mother dearest, let me inherent the earth. Your mother is a woman and women like her can not be contained. You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face. You go to the bathroom to apply your mother’s lipstick. You find the black tube inside her beauty case where she keeps your father’s old prison letters. We blame for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.Įvery fear… every nightmare… anyone has ever had. Dear moon, we blame you for floods… for the flush of blood… for men who are also wolves. Her hips grind, pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves. Pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.” Sometimes when he’d have her nipple in his mouth, she’d whisper, “Oh, my God.” That, too, is a form of worship. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, “I love you so much. ![]() Wakes up smelling of zinc, grief sedated by orgasm, orgasm heightened by grief. Her heaven will be a love without betrayal. Most bomb p*ssy who, because of me, sleep evaded. ![]() Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted. Here lies the mother of my children, both living and dead. So, what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me? Here lies the body of love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? Everyone else can. I think of lovers as trees… growing to and from one another. My father’s arms around my mother’s neck, fruit too ripe to eat. We can pose for a photograph all three of us. If it’s what you truly want… I can wear her skin over mine. I grew thickened skin on my feet I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the holy book, but still inside me, coiled deep, was the need to know… are you cheating on me? I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I got on my knees and said amen and said I mean. Went to the basement, confessed my sins, and was baptized in a river. In that time my hair, I grew past my ankles. Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word. I tried to change, closed my mouth more, tried to be soft, prettier, less awake. The past and the future merge to meet us here. In the tradition of men in my blood, you come home at 3 a.m. You remind me of my father, a magician… able to exist in two places at once. Unknown women wander the hallways at night. ![]() I tried to make a home out of you but doors lead to trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |